A few words about renewal.
These are the ‘souvenirs’ I brought home from my last trip to Mexico.
Dust shades brown, dry riverbeds, snake canyons,
golden sand, azure-blue water,
I anticipate the day ahead through the small square window of the jet plane. Soon I will be walking this foreign land. Soon I will feel the heat of the sun on my skin, the sand between my toes, the ocean waves lapping against my body, drawing me into her magic. Baja California Sur stretches out below me, calling my name.
Todos Santos, A casita with an outdoor kitchen on a 25-acre mango farm. Quiet space, room to roam. The only plans, go to the beach every day.
Mexico becomes me.
Before bed tonight, I took a walk around the farm, alone. The moon shed a white glow on the path and the stars spread across the sky like silver glitter. I stopped to listen to the neighbors, playing acoustic music on their front porch, waves crashing against the not so distant shore, and the music, it all seemed to float and settle into my soul.
I feel alive here. Connected, grounded.
My heart has been in pieces for so long. This is what my heart needs. I could spend the rest of my life here.
Waves sound like thunder during the night.
Heart pounding, I feel small and vulnerable enclosed in a fine mesh tent, extending from the ceiling draping around the queen size bed to the floor, a tile thatch roof between me and the stars of heaven. I hear thunder and wonder if it’s going to rain and realize it isn’t thunder, it’s the sound of waves, pounding, as they drop their weight onto the shore. Even though they are a mile away, they sound like they are at the doorstep. Untamable, raw power. My heart pounds with the waves against my chest and I barely breathe. Feeling exposed, they remind me, I am not in control. Somehow being in a foreign land leaves me feeling vulnerable.
I remind myself, there is One who controls these waves and all the waves. There is One whose power is greater and I begin to rest, remembering, I am His and He is mine. My heart settles and I sleep in sweet peace.
This life is given and taken.
I am only a recipient of time.
Time moves slow. I cherish each moment, moving slow is a gift. I’m catching my breath. Time to think, time to rest, I’m finding the rhythm of my soul in Mexico. I can breathe deep. My feet feel the earth. I am being renewed. This is my place of renewal. Spirit, soul, and body. I begin to dream of the future. I think about writing again. I am fully present here.
I am in a foreign land and I’ve never felt more at home in my life.
One thing I vow to bring home with me. Time. Presence. Here in my soul.
Each night, I fall asleep to the howls and chatter of neighborhood dogs and the melody of crickets. My ears awake to rooster crows bringing in the dawn. With the sunrise comes the mourning doves, their songs usher in the day, a few of which also live in my roof. With all this, it is quiet here. The chatter of the world is silenced, and the rhythms of nature surround me. I vow to hold this peace close when I go home. To remember the songs and rhythms of life unplugged.
Greeted each morning with tails wagging, the resident rescued dogs find me sitting on the porch, sipping a steaming mug of coffee. They escort me around the farm during the day, sleep on the porch in the afternoon heat, and lay at my feet in the evening. They have been so welcoming and accepting, I want to be more like them.
They walk tall, run in circles, and smile as they escort me around the farm. Even though, each one has been rescued from a life where they were not loved and not cared for.
I am reminded of the new life I was given when I was rescued from darkness and given freedom and forgiveness. Am I walking tall, running in circles and smiling? I know I once was, but my heart has been broken and left me scarred. I am re-mind-ed here. My mind is being reset. I am loved by One. My heart remembers.
Grounded. Balanced. Connected to the life force. My mind is reset. My heart is open. The future lays out before me and I begin to walk into it — barefoot.
Mexico. You will forever hold my heart.
(spirit, soul and body)